Teaching kids to be tidy
If you've found yourself thinking or saying the phrase, "It's messy but it's clean," this post is for you. Tidy is the first step toward clean and let's face it, when it's messy it sure doesn't feel clean. With kids, pets, roommates, significant others, heck, even some houseplants, keeping the mess at bay is hard. While plants and pets (maybe even some roommates and significant others) won't be cleaning up after themselves any time soon, there's hope for the kids.
How do you start your kids on the path to making tidy a habit? First, let's talk about how habits are created. The key to forming a habit is moving the action from decision making (prefrontal cortex) to habit (basal ganglia)- or autopilot. In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explains the habit loop- cue, routine, reward.
When tidy becomes a habit the loop can look like this:
Cue- something is out of place
Routine- tidying up
Reward- star on chore chart
Habit development takes time and patience for adults and definitely more time and more patience with kids. Follow these simple steps and start training your little ones.
Model the behavior
How many times has "Do as I say, not as I do," worked for you? Modeling behavior is far more powerful than just telling your kids to do something. The family that tidies together, stays together! Make it a natural part of the family routine.
Be clear about the expectations
Tidy is in the eye of the beholder. Be clear about your expectations for what tidy is and what areas of the house the kids are responsible for. Younger kids can start with their room while older kids can start taking on more responsibility for keeping the whole house tidy.
Reward tidying behavior
Do you use a chore chart? Does your family receive a special trip to the zoo or children's museum if you meet your goals? Can your kids earn extra TV, gaming or computer time? Be consistent about rewarding the desired behavior to reinforce the creation of the habit.
Count it down
When starting a new habit get the kids excited by keeping a countdown calendar. Depending on the habit it may take a month (or two) to solidify the habit. Celebrate your success and tell your kids how proud you are of the great work their doing.
